After eons of wondering whence my modest ability to write
short stories, long stories, poetry, academic papers and Russian-novel-length
emails had gone, I have uncovered (stumbled across, really) the dread cause of
it all. It is the same reason that I now find it much more difficult to read
long books, watch movies instead of tv shows, and study for exams. It is not,
as it happens, crippling self-editing tendencies. Self-editing has become a
crippling tendency of mine, in that I’ve now re-written the preceding sentence
thrice, and this one twice. Still, I’m getting better. Sort of. Watch me: I’m
going to leave those two sentences alone, now.
Yes, here at the beginning of the second paragraph it still
seems as though the third time through, we conquered the self-editing habit. Oh.
Bother. I reread the first paragraph just now, and rewrote that second
sentence. And pointed it out in the sentence. Just so any confused readers are
aware, there are now two distinct timelines in play—the one where I wrote about
two-and-a-half paragraphs on Thursday, the 25th of September, and
the one I am writing now, on Friday, the 26th. Timeline 3, speaking. I’m writing on Saturday, and in italics. Any
readers not presently confused should just hang tight, because I’m about to
mention (Thursday self is, that is) the main issue, which led to the whole
thing not being done yesterday, and will almost inevitably lead to a
multiplicity of timelines, and possible parallel realities. Any readers
objecting to such a plan are encouraged never to a) read comic books, or b)
watch films, especially films based on comic books.
Leaving it (self-editing, and multiple timelines) lightly aside, let us proceed to the true cause of my constant inconsistency. This is it: I’ve become good at multitasking. I discovered yesterday (Wednesday)—by way of a class lecture—that multitasking and single-tasking skills are inversely proportional. That is to say, as a person increases in their ability to concentrate on manifold objects and events more-or-less simultaneously, they lose the ability to concentrate on one object or event for very long at all.
Leaving it (self-editing, and multiple timelines) lightly aside, let us proceed to the true cause of my constant inconsistency. This is it: I’ve become good at multitasking. I discovered yesterday (Wednesday)—by way of a class lecture—that multitasking and single-tasking skills are inversely proportional. That is to say, as a person increases in their ability to concentrate on manifold objects and events more-or-less simultaneously, they lose the ability to concentrate on one object or event for very long at all.
This seems pretty unfair. Pretty predictable, perhaps, but
pretty poor per principles of parity. That is to say, it is as though learning
to juggle carried with it the danger that you (a trained juggler) couldn’t
really be trusted to hold anything—a baby, for instance—for fear that you might
involuntarily juggle it. This, as far as I can tell, is not the case at all. I
know some jugglers (including—no jest—the president of a large association of Christian
jugglers). As far as I can tell, not a single juggler I know has ever
involuntarily juggled anything. In fact, I can think of only two instances
wherein the juggling skills of my friends, the jugglers have ever amounted to
anything resembling a real drawback. In one case, as I recall, the current
president of the Christian Juggling Association juggled (intentionally, mind
you) a number of machetes, and one of them ended up doing an impression of the
double-bladed sword of scripture (separating flesh from bone). The impression
was pretty effective, and his hand was pretty ineffective for the next couple
of months. In the other case, I witnessed a friend attempting a juggling trick
that involved not only a pattern of keeping balls suspended in the air, but
also bouncing them off of the ground. He happened to misjudge the angle of the
bounce, and was compelled by the ball to join it on the floor in a writhing
heap.
Anyway, you see what I mean? It is very difficult to get
anywhere if, instead of writing straightforwardly about how multitasking has
ruined me for concentrating on a single task and theme, I go off on tangents
about juggling injuries, and multiple timelines. What I meant by those stories,
though is that the problem was not that they started involuntarily juggling
their dinner plate or steering wheel or whatever, leading to disaster, it was
that they made mistakes while juggling, on purpose. But apparently, this is not
how mental juggling works.
Incidentally, I’ve
now written past the end of the Thursday timeline, so everything you read from
here on out will be Friday. Unless I get distracted again. I did.
At any rate, I’ve started working on being able to
concentrate on one thing at a time, again, so that I can do so when the moment
calls for it. That is, so I can write enormous, bloated blog posts that call to
mind the wretched years when those of my friends who didn’t have the necessary
technical savvy to get ‘em sent straight to the Spam folder spent Saturday
evenings and Sunday mornings weeping on account of the Saturday Address. Also,
so I can write papers, and stuff. I just
wrote a paper. Between that last sentence, and this one.
My first real step toward this was forcing myself to not
read a book, browse the internet or try to write poetry while watching Thursday
Night Football on CBS. I ended up multitasking, anyway; by midway through the
fourth quarter, I was simultaneously watching football and snoring. Still, it
was progress. Now I’m writing this, and
watching football. Progress erased.
My one concern, which wasn’t really addressed in the
classroom, is this: I need to be good at multitasking. Working as a restaurant server
requires that I concentrate on sixty things in one minute, whereas writing,
reading, and studying for exams requires that I concentrate on one thing for
sixty minutes.
I have not yet done any research on the point, but I am
intrigued—can I reacquire a skill at single-tasking without sacrificing my
livelihood-required ability to multitask? And
if not, which is better in the long run? Is it better to be able to do a bunch
of little things at once—in a world where it is increasingly demanded—or to be
capable of sitting down, and giving my senses, mind and emotions more time and
opportunity for developing skills I already have, and developing new ones.
For instance, I don’t know how to juggle, and I’d like to learn.
For instance, I don’t know how to juggle, and I’d like to learn.
It was fun to see the Saturday address again! (No crying here as I read!)
ReplyDeleteJubilation! The Saturday Address is back!
ReplyDeleteI think the only time I ever single-task well is when I get so caught up in something that I do nothing else,(e.g. eat, sleep, talk to people.) which has its own issues, clearly.
ReplyDelete